9/26/2023
Aoougugh
Once again bit by the Neocities bug. I've been very stressed lately what with all of the events happening in my life. I keep trying to distract myself, but all I can focus on is scrolling through social media. Which I hate doing!!! So yesterday I figured I'd try slapping together a Succession fan page/shrine thing, since I spent a lot of the day thinking about Roman. I ended up coding a shoddy little thing, and wrote about Succession, and then lost steam. As it goes. But I continued spending time looking around Neocities pages, as Neocities brings me a lot less dread than any SNS, lol. As a result, I ended up synthesizing the idea of "The value of being a hater," which is currently the only "article" on my site. It's not a good essay. It'd probably get, like, a C in an English class. Whatever, not the point.
I've been displeased with the format of my previous journal page. It feels so clunky. I'm probably going to end up unhappy with this one too. My problem is that I'd like the whole page to change in design with certain articles or blog posts. I don't know how to do something like that yet, though, so a measly little iframe is what I've done here. It'll just have to do. I'll probably make it look a little nicer at some point... I've been spending hours today working on it, though. (A lot of time I spend coding is actually just tweaking the colors and images moreso than format or function (though there is plenty of that, too)).
Maybe I'll actually update my site more now, now that I have a place to write long winding things that have no other place, and a place to write short personal stuff. It just makes me feel... naked(?) to have stuff like this plastered on my old journal page. Eugh. Hide this behind an iframe link!
The Succession page is not anywhere yet... I'll add it to my site once I write at least one more section in it.
I'd also still love to make a page dedicated to Will Wood!!! I'm constantly developing a deeper and more expansive appreciation for his music, always thinking about his lyrics and such. I have a lot to say, I just have to figure out how to organize everything that I want to say. It'll show up eventually. Probably.
More things:
- Been listening to Patricia Taxxon lately. Wonderful music. She makes fantastic video essays as well; "On the Ethics of Boinking Animal People" is a masterpiece, really.
- Also have been rewatching CJ the X videos, because they're a genius and their videos stimulate my brain like Patricia's. CJ and Patricia are both geniuses.
Between those two, and what I talked about in my hater article/essay, and just general... things going on in my life/things I've been thinking about in my brain, I've really been motivated to push myself to actually just... talk about things that are on mind, talk about things that I feel. I've been trying really hard to let myself feel my emotions thoroughly lately, and without shame. It's very hard but it's rewarding. Maybe I'll be more articulate about this in the future. I'd like to. My brain has been fried from stress and lack of sleep lately.
