The value of being a hater.
9/26/2023
My thoughts here are incomplete. I fizzled out while writing it, so I am not completely satisfied with what this essay. I'd like to iterate on it in the future, or come back and fix it up. I considered not sharing it until I've perfected it, but I figured it's very likely I never will... So I'll just share it as is. Forgive me!
In my wandering around, jumping between Neocities sites, I've picked up on a trend. People love to hate. "Expressing yourself" means talking about the things that annoy or frustrate you, especially about Tumblr/Twitter/TikTok ("TTT", as I've seen it called). I've found it quite grating to see it so much. I dislike TTT as much as the next webmaster (really, I do, I promise). Yet I often find myself rolling my eyes when I see people emphasize this to the point of making it part of their identity on their site. Especially when so many of these people are clearly from TTT, as evidenced by their constant referencing to TTT trends. Why write about what you hate? Why not write about what you enjoy, or what you'd like to see instead?
And yet, I empathize with this desire. Clearly, as I'm writing about how I dislike a thing people do online. We hate in others what we see in ourselves, as they say.
Here are two articles that have been on my mind lately: mariteaux's "Neocities and a Lack of Passion" and Justin Jackson's "This is a webpage". You should go read them if you haven't, neither are very long reads. Here are a few quotes that I find notable:
"At its heart, web design should be about words. Words don't come after the design is done. Words are the beginning, the core, the focus" (Jackson).
"What do you have to say? If you don't know, there's not much use in adding all that other cruft" (Jackson).
"Demand better from your friends and fellow Neosteaders. Have a reason to make a site. Share what you love (or maybe even what you hate?) with all of us. We'll end up with a more vibrant and interesting site for it" (mariteaux).
I believe that mariteaux and Jackson are pretty much making the same point, the main difference being that mariteaux's target audience is more specific. The first time I read mariteaux's essay (and every subsequent time), I felt a level of defensiveness reading the first half or so. My site isn't very robust, and is largely aesthetic based. I like to think that my site is not soulless, as empty as it is, but I wonder if mariteaux would disagree. The second half of the essay, however, never fails to instill me with a desire to really work on my site. The way mariteaux put together this essay is a bit genius; they position themself as above these obnoxious "nostalgiaminers", before turning around and imploring you to bring your unique passions to Neocities, no matter how embarassing it may be. The real embarrassment, mariteaux seems to believe, is taking up space without saying anything at all. They create a sort of "us vs. them" dynamic, yet make it clear that anyone can become one of them. It could almost be described as a kind of attempt at gatekeeping Neocities.
Jackson's essay is not so specific. He makes no pleas or demands for what sorts of things you put online, so long as you are actually saying somthing in words. He implores that you forget about any erroenous aesthetics, and instead focus on the real content: words. This plea, of course, is not so different from mariteaux's; please stop taking up space on the web without having anything to say. Please stop focusing on the superficial; we want to see something you really care about. We want to read the thing you have passion about, whatever it is. That is what Neocities is for, that's what the internet as a whole is for.
Naturally, I don't entirely agree with mariteaux or Jackson. Sometimes you have nothing to say, but want to create art to share with the world. Creating a webpage that's nothing more than a collection of stolen images you like... Is that not art? Is there really no value in that? Not to mention that the intricate and unqiue designs people here make are part of the draw of their sites. I enjoy exploring these little worlds, both for their words and their aesthetics.
Even still, I do believe that these essays have their place. I believe that they carry a lot of value and insight. I think accusing these people, and people like them, of being haters or gatekeepers can be a sort of shield. These people are not being mean for the sake of being mean (Jackson isn't even mean in his article, I'm really just talking about mariteaux now); they are expressing something they feel passionate about. They are only angry because they care so much! And this extends to those TTT haters that I opened this article with. And it extends to me, too!
I think in order to be truly in touch with yourself and your feelings means being able to be a hater. Can you ever truly be honest with yourself and others if you're so afraid of expressing dislike or distaste? If your only goal is to put others down, to hurt or offend, you're just being an asshole. But that is not the goal of Justin Jackson, or mariteaux, or those TTT-haters. Their goal is to be open and honest with themselves and the world, and to convince others to do the same. There is value in complaining online, especially if it is structured and you make an argument about it. Being critical is good. We are refining our tastes and our identities, by defining ourselves not just by what we like but what we dislike. Because we all have dislikes, even if you dislike disliking things. You can't escape! Why lie, why hide it?
To really clarify, I don't think it's a good thing to be mean for the sake of being mean. In this essay, when I refer to "haters", I really just mean anyone who passionately expresses dislike/disdain for something, not people who are cruel for the sake of it. Bullying and harassment are bad, and always being negative can be draining for you and those around you. There is value in being careful and kind with your words and what you choose to share. I do believe we all have a responsibility to consider what we say before we say it; "if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all," as it goes. Yet, at the same time, we are all responsible for our own feelings. "Don't like, don't look!" And so the cycle goes on...
